or a college student, going without facebook for a week is like living under a rock. And now it's not just open to us college kids, it's open to the rest of the world too. It's a virus and everyone's catching it. Let's be real--facebook has revolutionized the way humans socialize. It's crazy when you think about it. It's like interpersonal communication has become secondary. Actually talking to a person is less "official" than posting it online for the world to see. Facebook has changed basic rituals that have been around seemingly forever. It provides so many positives like a ability to socialize with friends and family you don't see very often, keep track of birthdays and events, store all your pictures and memories, promote business, meet new people, and more. But it also comes with so many negatives, so much baggage: possibility of identity theft, invasion of privacy, status conferral, and many others. The question we are left asking ourselves is, "Is facebook worth what it's doing to us?" Does the good outweigh the bad? And at this point, does it even matter? As deep as we are immersed into the world of facebook, could we even abandon it if we wanted to now? It's kind of scary to think about. Regardless of whether it's good or bad, there's no hiding what a huge impact its made.
A friend of mine got fed up with facebook. He didn't like how everyone could just go online to learn everything they needed to about him and judge him negatively based on no real life encounters at all. As Alla Zollers states, it allows us to prematurely "think we know who they are." My friend also didn't like how everyone could publicly see the struggles he was having with his relationship because his relationship status kept changing from "In a Relationship" to "Single" to "It's Complicated." Everyone had to give their 2 cents on his breakup via a facebook comment. For him it was just too personal a matter--something that he needed to deal with privately, and having visible to everyone on the internet was only making the situation worse. So he deleted his account vowing never to use a social networking site again. I found out because the thumbnail picture of him in my top friends box was blank. A week later, however, his profile was back. When I asked him what happened he said he just couldn't leave it. He needed it for networking. He was a very busy man who did a lot of organizing and facebook was his best tool to get the word out to a mass of people quickly when he needed to. So despite the stress it was putting on him with his personal life, he was structurally forced to have a facebook account. Yes, facebook does have some privacy settings and they are constantly trying to fine tune and improve that feature, but you're never going to be able to hide everything you want to if it's online. There's a lot to be said about this story. A lot of people claim to hate facebook but still have one. I think it's important for us to remember that even if it seems like we can't go back anymore, we are the ones who did this to ourselves. After all, as Alla Zoller's article states, facebook itself does "not provide content, but rather a platform" for us to provide our own content. How much can you really complain if you lose your job due to an inappropriate facebook picture if you're the one who put it up?
That's another thing facebook does. It blends our worlds. I act differently with my friends than I do with my parents just like I act differently at work than I do when I'm at home. But what happens when you're facebook friends with your boss, your mom, your ex-girlfriend, and all your drinking buddies? That complicates things. What is safe to do or say online that won't be taken the wrong way by one or multiple parties?
Personally, my biggest problem with facebook is how it has redefined the word "creep" or "stalker." Stalker used to be a very serious term. Something people go to jail for. To me stalkers are associated with rape. However there is a new meaning of stalker now. The "facebook stalker" is someone who spends time on facebook going through other people's photos and information that has been posted for the world to see--essentially the whole point of the site. Now everyone's a stalker. The verb form of this is "creeping." I asked my dorm-mate Sam what she was doing on her computer and she responded with "Oh just creepin'." She didn't even need to mention facebook because it was already implied. So everyone puts up embarrassing pictures of themselves online and says things they probably wouldn't say out loud in a public setting, but if someone asks them about it they are accused of being a creep for facebook stalking to find it. The term "stalker" is thrown around all willy nilly these days and I'm not sure it's having positive repercussions. I will leave names out for privacy's sake (something that doesn't seem to really exist anymore) but in a facebook conversation between two girls I know, girl A calls girl B a "slut" because of a picture she is in. Girl B then responds by saying "I'm flattered you're so obsessed with me that you go through my pictures. Stalker much?" Meanwhile I can see this entire interchange on my mini-feed and so can about a thousand other people. The whole thing just seems kind of ironic to me. I try to live by the idea that if you wouldn't go out onto the town common and do or say something in public, then you shouldn't post it on facebook. It seems like every week someone threatens to sue barstoolsports.com (a blog by the common man for the common man)for making fun of them because of a video that was posted on youtube. But you can't sue someone for making fun of a video you put on youtube where it's public domain. I just think people really need to deeply consider the things they put out there online before it comes back to bite them. People have lost their jobs and marriages because of these types of mistakes. "The identity performed on SNSs sites can be misinterpreted, with incredibly tragic results" (Zollers).
Zollers also states that sites like facebook are a "poor representation of ... 'real' complex and dynamic social network[s]." I couldn't agree more with this statement. In the facebook world relationships are completely binary in that there are "friends" and there are "not friends" with no middle ground. Obviously this doens't reflect relationships in real life. Our bonds to others constantly grow and change. My real circle of friends doesn't resemble my facebook friend list at all. I have over 900 friends on facebook and I probably interact online with about 100 of them. And of those 100 I probably interact in person with about 30 of them on a regular basis. I have friends on facebook who I don't even know. Someone just sent me a friend request one day and I saw that we had some friends in common so I accepted it. Is that what real life is like? I don't think so. The person I don't know is as much of a "friend" to me on facebook as my own brother. There is one way to rate your friends in importance though--with the top friends application. You list, in order your top 10 or 20 friends for everyone to see. I hate this feature because it makes relationships seem so static and it hurts a lot of people's feelings because they are either not on the list or "so and so" is rated higher than them. I think the entire premise of the "top friends" feature is terrible. It makes people's relationships somehow measurable and directly comparable to others.
Lastly, facebook takes so much away from true conversation. Remember the good old days when if you wanted to get to know someone, you actually had to talk to them and ask questions? Crazy right? Now you just check out their profile. I facebook chatted a girl a few weeks ago and she asked me where I went to school and I remember thinking "What a dumb question, my profile information is right in front of her face on the screen, she can see where I go to school." But shouldn't we have to ask about these things? Why even talk to people anymore if all the conversation topics are freely available on anyone's profile. We can just become a society of mutes.
Sometimes I wonder if the world would be better without facebook. But then I find myself on it 12 times a day and think, "If someone like me who is so skeptical about it, is this attached to it, what hope do we have for everyone else?" The problem now is that it's wriggled it's way right into the middle of our society and it's stuck there now. You have to pass through it if you are going to have a modern social experience. I think it's important for everyone to keep in mind that at the end of the day, corporations with financial interests are the ones who are in control of all these networking sites. SNSs can promote individual voices, but they are still trapped within the current structure and thus help to fortify it. I think we should be careful not to let our virtual selves become more important than our actual selves.
Southpark, as always, does a great job with turning facebook into social satire....
I think you make some great points in this entry. I have always been really fascinated with the effects that social networking sites like Facebook have had on human interaction. The more I have thought about it, the more sick it has made me. I have recently deleted my Facebook permanently, and you would not believe the effect that it has had.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about how contagious/addictive it is. There have been times in the past when I found myself mindlessly wandering around Facebook when I should be doing something more productive, or I would almost instinctively and impulsively type in the address without even thinking about it.
One of the most important aspects that you covered is that privacy concerns. I am absolutely shocked at some of the things people are willing, even eager, to post on Facebook. A lot of young people do not fully understand the scope and permanence of the Internet. It can be straight up creepy, and also pretty embarrassing. I remember in junior high, I had a Livejournal. When I looked back on it a few years later, I was cringing at some of the personal or just plain stupid things I wrote. Luckily, I remembered my password, so I was able to delete it. I learned early on about the potential effects of posting personal things on the Internet, but unfortunately some people are learning the hard way (like those who have difficulty finding a good job because of their unprofessional Internet personae). Beyond the privacy issues concerning friends, families, and employers, I think it’s also important to consider how Facebook is using the information we so willingly surrender. It’s becoming pretty clear that Facebook does not give a shit about privacy.
And you’re right, it can seem hard to function in the modern world without Facebook. I’ll admit, my first few attempts at getting off of Facebook were unsuccessful. But when I finally cancelled my account for good, I was shocked at how little I cared about it anymore. It’s like a drug; they set it up so that we become addicted to seeing new status updates and wall posts, until we’re just zombied-out in front of the computer screen, refreshing the page until something new pops up. However, if you can make through the initial withdrawals and finally kick the habit, you end up feeling remarkably better. I don’t want to come off as entirely anti-Facebook. You’re right that it can serve a very useful purpose in networking and organizing and things like that, but I do believe that people need to be a little wiser about how they use it.
Amen
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